


For However Long I'm In Your Arms

by TheyDontBurnLikeUs_27



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Roller Coaster, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Breakdown, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:13:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28785480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheyDontBurnLikeUs_27/pseuds/TheyDontBurnLikeUs_27
Summary: When Mitchum and Shira appear unannounced at the DAR event Rory is running she freaks out and calls Logan in the midst of a panic attack. Set in S6 E5 but Rory calls Logan instead of running into Paris.
Relationships: Rory Gilmore/Logan Huntzberger
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	For However Long I'm In Your Arms

**Author's Note:**

> The fact that Rory actually has a panic attack at the sight of Logan's parents tells a lot about how deep that hurt runs. Anyway, I couldn't get this out of my head because when she ran into the kitchen all I could think was "Logan, Logan, Logan!" then it was Paris instead. So here is Rory calling Logan, I hope you all like this please R&R it means so much to me to hear what you think, constructive criticism is always welcome.

It had been a crazy week but everything had been going so well, she had poured her heart and soul into the party and in the end, all the little pieces of the puzzle had come together to form a beautiful picture. 

The waiters were dressed in their period costumes as were the band and the long dresses and pearls of the DAR members glinted in the dim light. 

Compliments were thrown her way left and right as she made her way about the room, participating in small talk with important people and thanking them for their donations. 

It was almost perfect. Until that is, she caught sight of a familiar mop of blond hair. Logan's mother was standing in the entryway looking disdainful and a bit bored. 

Rory’s breath caught sharply in her throat, surprise coloring her features as her face turned white. All of a sudden the success was gone and she was left teetering on the edge of a cliff feeling as though she was going to point. 

She needed Logan but she couldn’t seem to grasp the cool metal of her cell phone. Her hands were shaking and her chest was burning as she tried to take deep breaths. 

When did it get so hot? She wondered, her fingers tangling in the collar of her shirt, yanking pointlessly at her tie. She tried dimly to remember how she’d ever managed to get Logans off before. 

She was forcing words out past the block in her throat, lost in a haze of color and noise. Her grandmother was behind her talking about bumping someone's table and Rory was saying something in response but she couldn’t hear her own voice. 

Then her grandmother pointed and she looked up out of instinct, trying to keep the tears out of her eyes when she caught sight of a yellow-haired man in a sharp blue suit. 

Thoughts blurred and ran together like the watercolor paintings she and Lane used to do as kids. There wasn’t any air, if she’d been struggling to get a breath before she may as well be underwater for all the good her lungs were doing her now. 

She felt like her chest was folding in on itself as she brought one hand up to her heart while the other stayed in her collar trying and failing to remove the pressure on her windpipe. 

Her heart seemed to be surrounded by thorns that were tearing at the vulnerable flesh. All she could think of was the disgust and hate on Shira’s face, the pitying condescending look on Mitchums…

She was shaking, she was sure of it. Why wasn’t anyone helping her? She needed air. 

Pushing through the crowd of people until she slid into the kitchen. She scanned the room for Paris but her friend was nowhere to be seen. 

She forced down a sob as the burning need for air increased. Of course, she wasn’t good enough for Logan, how could she be? She should’ve known, why would they want her? She couldn’t do the things a family like the Huntzbergers expected from a wife. She wasn’t mindless or stunningly beautiful, she wasn’t prepared to plan events like this and spend outrageous amounts of money all day while Logan worked late nights. 

She wasn't aware of it happening but she quickly found herself outside being hit by a powerful gust of freezing wind. She finally forced some air into her chest but it quickly wheezed out again as tears slid down her cheeks. 

She tried to stumble away from the back door and felt her ankle snap sideways as she wobbled on unsteady legs. She kicked the stilettos off and managed to discard her jacket and tie. 

She tried to breathe through the panic and the tears but she couldn’t get enough air and…

She needed Logan. 

Rory only managed to get one building over from where the event was being hosted before Rory collapsed onto the sidewalk throwing her legs over the ledge into the gutter, the cool water from the recent storm soothed her swollen ankle. 

Grasping the phone she could barely open the cover but managed it after another terribly long moment. She was so glad she had Logan on speed dial because it still took three tries for her fingers to find the button with the small 1 on it. 

Hunching over Rory listened to the grating ring of the phone that was pressed too tight against her ear. 

He wasn’t picking up, she tried to focus on anything else but she couldn’t. It felt like she was dying and, oh god what if she was dying and she never got to make up with her Mom? 

Another sob echoed through the lonely street but still, no one heard. Fingernails tore at her skin in a panic, he wasn’t picking up. 

On the last ring she heard the dull click that meant he’d connected “Hey Ace, what’s up?” he asked and she could practically hear the smirk in his voice, there was a bit of background noise but not enough for it to be a big party. 

She didn’t know what to say, she couldn’t breathe and the words weren’t coming. Words were supposed to be what she was good at but not anymore, where did that leave her? All her writing, the hundreds of books and articles she’d read to prepare her for this didn’t matter. 

It was all a waste because she just wasn’t good enough, not for Yale, not for the newspaper, not enough for Dean or Jess, not enough for her Dad…

Not enough for Logan. 

“What’s going on Ace?” he asked and the laughter in his voice was nearly gone. 

He waited for a response but Rory didn’t know what to say. “Hey seriously Ace, you okay?” he asked and she could hear him shushing his friends. 

“L-L-Loga-a-n” she stuttered out, forcing his name past the block in her throat and choking on a sob at the burning in her lungs. More hot tears dripped from her eyes down her neck and chest. 

“Are you okay?” he asked a hint of confusion in his voice. 

It hurt, it hurt so bad and her vision seemed to be fading at the edges, she was going to pass out. 

“What’s wrong? You’re kinda making me nervous right now Ace” he said and she could imagine one of his hands tangled in his short blond hair, making it stick up all messy. Logan waited a minute but she didn’t say anything. 

“That’s it I’m coming to get you, Ace, where are you?” 

The thought of him coming to get her made a bit of the pressure on her chest ease up. 

“Please say something Rory, you’re scaring me” he repeated his sentiments from a moment earlier but they didn’t seem right, Logan wasn’t afraid of anything. 

“C’mon Ace please say something” he begged her. 

“I-I can’t-t breathe” she gasped out without thinking. 

Logan’s breath hitched on the other end of the line “Rory please tell me what’s going on” he begged, his voice sounding thick over the phone line. 

He took a deep breath and she copied him instinctually. “Rory please just copy my breathing.” Somehow the idea seemed to make sense and as Logan took a deep breath Rory copied. 

He kept the phone on even after he was in the car and his voice soothed her until her breaths were coming in gasping sobs but she was still breathing and that was probably better than the alternative. 

The minutes felt like hours and Logan kept asking what happened and telling her to breathe and begging her to tell him she was okay. 

Even though they’d been together for a while now it had mostly been easy and fun. Teasing, kissing, adventures, sex, secret smiles, and spontaneous trips. She had tried to keep it light, to keep the pressure off of him because this was his first relationship and she couldn’t lose him. 

Rory didn’t hear the limo pull up but she heard Logan’s footsteps on the pavement as he jogged towards her. 

He fell ungracefully to his knees and wrapped his arms around Rory in a strong embrace. Her head fell onto her chest and she was assaulted by more tears. 

Logan’s hands were all over her, brushing over her hair and shoulders in search of any type of damage that could have caused her to call him in hysterics. 

When he found nothing his arms wrapped around her again, pressing her closer with a sigh. He was clearly confused but even then his presence seemed to be pulling her away from the abyss. 

Slowly her sobs eased into little hiccuping noises that Logan would’ve teased her about under any other circumstance. 

He eased her position in his arms and Rory felt herself be lifted off the ground, a moment later he opened a car door and dragged Rory into the backseat. 

He was hesitant and uncertain but she felt his lips press gently to her temple as he pulled her closer. The engine hummed to life beneath them as the limo pulled forward. 

She was dimly aware of Logan asking her something but the exhaustion won out as she slipped into a deep sleep in his arms. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

When Rory woke up her head felt heavy and stuffy, she couldn’t really remember anything but she could feel the dried tears on her face where her skin stuck to the pillow. 

As consciousness slowly returned to her she could feel a weight settle in her gut, everything was falling apart again and this time she had dragged Logan down with her.  
What if he wanted to break up after Rory’s call to him last night? What if… 

“You’re awake! Thank god I’ve been so worried Ace” Logan exclaimed, crossing the floor quickly, as the bed sunk under his weight, his arms wrapped around her. 

He really did seem worried and that was definitely a new look on him, she hadn’t really thought anything could knock Logan off his game and she didn’t know how to feel about the fact that this had happened because of her. 

“What happened last night Ace?” Logan asked quietly. His hand was tangled in her hair and he seemed uncertain “It was nothing” Rory said, voice hoarse from crying. Logan raised an eyebrow at her and it was the first of his gestures that she’d recognized since he found her last night. 

“I’m not really sure, it’s like one minute I was fine and the next I couldn’t breathe. I don’t know what happened, that has never happened to me before.”

One of Logan's hands rested at her hip while the other was tangled in his hair like she’d imagined when she first called him last night. 

“Sounds like you had a panic attack Ace, something must have happened, do you remember anything?” She shook her head, how could she tell him it was the sight of his parents that had caused her to fall apart at the seams.

“I was probably just stressed or something” 

“I think we both know that’s not true Ace” 

There was something almost admonishing in his tone as he continued to run his hand over her shoulders. She was wearing one of his shirts and the smell was so him that it made her melt against his chest. 

“It’s not a big deal” she mumbled aimlessly into his chest. She already knew he wasn’t going to let this go. 

“Ace…” he didn’t finish whatever he had started to say but his face was pressed into her hair. 

“You don’t have to tell me what happened but please tell me your okay” Rory hesitated, she knew she had to tell him, knew their relationship couldn’t go any further without opening up and trusting him. 

Logan pulled away from the embrace and tilted her head back, his lips brushed against hers and some of the tension seemed to drain away, Logan too seemed soothed by the kiss. 

“Look I’m kinda flying blind here Ace,” he said with a sort of half-smile that was somewhere between teasing and frustrated. 

“It’s not a big deal” Rory started but Logan shook his head “It’s not stupid Rory, especially if it upset you” she knew he was being serious when he used her full name and finally the story came pouring out of her in a confusing stream of words, Rory felt almost as confused by it as Logan looked. 

She tried to control herself but nothing she was saying made sense “Well your parents were there and they didn’t RSVP and I was trying to make room for them and I just hate the way they looked at me and I want to go to Yale and be a Journalist and I want your family to love me as much as I love you and I-I want my mom.” She let out a shuddering gasp. 

It felt silly to say it out loud but it all just hurt so much. Her arms fell around Logan's waist but his arms stayed firmly at his sides. 

“L-L-ogan” she muttered a minute later reaching a hand up to his tense jaw “I’m going to kill them” he muttered. He didn’t raise his voice but there was icy anger burning in his eyes and he looked a little too serious, a little too determined. 

“I hate them” 

“Logan…” Rory started  
“I’m serious Ace, if I never had to see them again I would be a hell of a lot happier for it,” he growled out as his face fell forward into his hands. 

Rory felt so terrible, he shouldn’t be upset, she shouldn’t be saying things like this about his family because of her. 

“What else did he say to you?” 

Rory shook her head but Logan’s eyes were on fire and she knew there was no way she was getting out of this without telling him. 

“He, uh, he sat me down on the last day of my internship, he wanted to talk about my performance and I just, I thought I’d been doing so well…” Rory trailed off as tears filled her eyes. She’d tried so hard, she’d given absolutely everything she had to this dream and in the end, it all meant nothing. 

“Rory” he said, turning her chin up towards him with a questioning look in his eyes. 

“He said I didn’t have what it takes to be a good journalist,” she muttered squeezing her eyes shut against the pain. Logan just slumped over and let his weight fall on her. 

“I’m so sorry Ace” 

“What’re you apologizing for?” she asked. 

“I’m just sorry this isn’t working how we hoped it would” he muttered, still slumped against her. 

“Logan, please don’t do this,” Rory begged, pulling away from his embrace as tears rolled down her face. He was breaking up with her, she knew it and...

“I’m sorry but I have to Ace,” Logan said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, there was a resigned determination in his eyes. That was the look that meant nothing would change his mind. 

“There has to be a way we can make this work,” she begged. 

“Make what work?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowed and his nose scrunched up. 

“I don’t want to lose you” She whispered a sob caught in her throat. 

His eyes grew wide “I’m not breaking up with you Ace I was talking about my dad.” 

Relief she’d never felt before washed over her as she threw herself at Logan, she crashed into him and her lips found his in a desperate kiss. Logan's surprise melted away and his tense muscles relaxed as he drew her onto her lap. 

“I’m sorry Ace I didn’t mean to scare you but just know I’m not going anywhere.” his words melted Rory’s heart. “I’m not either.” she whispered against his lips “I know Ace.”

Logan pulled her down onto the bed so she was straddling his hips with her face on his chest, his shirt had ridden up and Logan's hands found her hips “You got to go back to school Ace, you can’t let this control you, you deserve more.” 

Rory didn’t know what to say so she kissed him again, softer. 

Logan claimed that he was too worried to sleep last night so they stayed in bed all day just talking and cuddling and kissing. They both ignored previous engagements to just be together and when Logan did fall asleep with his head resting on Rory’s stomach she snapped a picture with the digital camera in her bag. 

He looked softer asleep, calmer, and vulnerable. His hair was sticking up in crazy directions but it didn’t matter. 

He was here with her, after everything.


End file.
